If you read, you'll judge

I am scared, I'll get scared

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 09:43:36 GMT

So this house is officially property of LAUSD. Weird to think that where I am at right now will be a classroom, parking lot, or office building, a place where someone else will form other memories. They already closed-off the back house. My brother moved to Pomona with his g/f, I opted to stay & live with my mom b/c I am a pussy to life like that. Besides what am I to do in Pomona? It's quite complicated, or maybe really simple. I am hoping to start moving this weekend, although the other house isn't ready. & you are all invited, I have mojitos/margaritas mixes that must be used, & I can't drink by myself. Being 21 is the best! That's what Bert said before throwing up, ha.

I have my last final at 8am today, fuuuuuck geology, it's giving me a headache. I have a cold. I studied with Yessy. We even jogged around the block at 10pm to wake up & she gave me LOADS of music, my ipod is all full now :)

I leave to Sonora, Mexico on the 20th until possibly the 29th.

& my dsl is getting cut off soon, & I won't get it back until January......noooooo :(

In other news, life is good. I had a great dinner with my daddy on Thursday. My dad is the coolest, it's sad I don't see him on a daily basis. I think he thinks I am weird or am missing a screw in my head.

long update for lack of better things to do

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 21:18:47 GMT

Since I have an extra hour to do nothing before I go to lame work. I turn 21 in a couple of hours! But I have to write a 3-5 page midterm by Wed., study for a midterm tomorrow for POLS472, & one on Wed. for POLS403 :(

Friday was great, frother & his gf made me plan the evening. Dinner at Marie Callender's (it was good, delicious salad Wale ohhhh & the pie!). Then we went to Spookyhouse in Northridge, it was somewhat scary cuz the monsters were tall & big, the special effects were awesome, 3d maze, phobia thing. They made you crawl on the floor, too! Just like the Old Town Haunt Maze in Pasadena (which is so worth your money). I also went to knotts on the 13th. I didn't go to universal studios or six flags b/c time didn't allow. & the Queen Mary sucks. BUT yay for Halloween. Then we saw Saw 3, I LOVE those movies. I got super excited when I realized there will be a Saw 4, it's been an established tradition since I turned 19.

Saturday, D, her bf, her compa, & I went to see La Resistencia at the Allen. It was a great show. On the car ride there:
D: watch I'ma get on stage & be like shoutout to...
me: calmate Dianita

Sure enough I saw some girl waving her mexican bandana on stage, it was her....she's fucking crazy. & then she actually got the guy of 8kalacas to give her the mic & she said "the next song is dedicated to my best friend jenny, my compa che, and my baby" I was dying of laughter man. We saw La Resistencia at the knitting factory & she got on stage that time, I highly doubted she would be able to get on this time.

Then we went to Booty's party. Where there was SO MUCH hard liquor like 1k, like wow. He said, " I honestly didn't think you would come," don't doubt me even at 1am I'll make it.

11/3-11/5 Las Vegas!
11/7 The motherfucking Deftones in Ventura!
11/10 The motherfucking Deftones again!
11/18 Atreyu!
& I am finally going to Mexico for x-mas!
Those are the only things that make me somewhat excited about life.

for the lost black kitten last seen eating a hot dog

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 08:28:09 GMT

This is my favorite poem EVER. I think you should read it. It's somewhat long, but nothing short of amazing. One of my goals in life is to one day drive down to Rancho Palos Verdes & take a picture of his plot site, with the wise words of "Don't Try" as his epitaph. What a great man.

Either peace or happiness, let it enfold you.

When I was a young man
I felt these things were
dumb, unsophisticated.
I had bad blood, a twisted
mind, a pecarious
upbringing.
I was hard as granite, I
leered at the
sun.
I trusted no man and especially no
woman.

I was living a hell in
small rooms, I broke
things, smashed things,
walked through glass,
cursed.
I challenged everything,
was continually being
evicted, jailed, in and
out of fights, in and out
of my mind.
Women were something
to screw and rail
at, I had no male
friends,

I changed jobs and
cities, I hated holidays,
babies, history,
newspapers, museums,
grandmothers,
marriage, movies,
spiders, garbagemen,
english accents, spain,
france, italy, walnuts and
the color orange.
Algebra angered me,
opera sickened me,
Charlie Chaplin was a
fake and flowers were for
pansies.

Peace and happiness to me
were signs of
inferiority,
tenants of the weak
an addled
mind.

But as I went on with
my alley fights,
my suicidal years,
my passage through
any number of
women-it gradually
began to occur to
me that I wasn't different

from the
others, I was the same,

they were all fulsome
with hatred,
glossed over with petty
grievances,
the men I fought in
alleys had hearts of stone.
Everybody was nudging,
inching, cheating for
some insignificant
advantage,
the lie was the
weapon and the
plot was
empty,
darkness was the
dictator.

Cautiously, I allowed
myself to feel good
at times.
I found moments of
peace in cheap
rooms
just staring at the
knobs of some
dresser
or listening to the
rain in the
dark.
The less I needed
the better I
felt.

Maybe the other life had worn me
down.
I no longer found
glamour
in topping somebody
in conversation.
or in mounting the
body of some poor
drunken female
whose life had
slipped away into
sorrow.

I could never accept
life as it was,
I could never gobble
down all its
poisons
but there were parts,
tenous magic parts
open for the
asking.

I re-formulated
I don't know when,
date, time, all
that
but the change
occured.
Something in me
relaxed, smoothed
out.
I no longer had to
prove that i was a
man,

I didn't have to prove
anything.

I began to see things:
coffee cups lined up
behind a counter in a
cafe.
Or a dog walking along
a sidewalk.
Or the way the mouse
on my dresser top
stopped there
with its body,
its ears,
its nose,
it was fixed,
a bit of life
caught within itself
and its eyes looked
at me
and they were
beautiful.
Then- it was
gone.

I began to feel good,
I began to feel good
in the worst situations
and there were plenty
of those.
Like say, the boss
behind his desk,
he is going to have
to fire me.

I've missed too many
days.
He is dressed in a
suit, necktie, glasses,
he says, "I am going
to have to let you go"

"It's all right" I tell
him.

He must do what he
must do, he has a
wife, a house, children.
expenses, most probably
a girlfreind.

I am sorry for him
he is caught.

I walk onto the blazing
sunshine.
The whole day is
mine
temporarily,
anyhow.

(the whole world is at the
throat of the world,
everybody feels angry,
short-changed, cheated,
everybody is despondent,
dissillusioned)

I welcomed shots of
peace, tattered shards of
happiness.

I embraced that stuff
like the hottest number,
like high heels, breasts,
singing, the
works.

(dont get me wrong,
there is such a thing as cockeyed optimism
that overlooks all
basic problems just for
the sake of
itself-
this is a shield and a
sickness.)

The knife got near my
throat again,
I almost turned on the
gas
again
but when the good
moments arrived
again
I didn't fight them off
like an alley
adversary.
I let them take me,
I luxuriated in them,
I bade them welcome
home.
I even looked into
the mirror
once having thought
myself to be
ugly,
I now liked what
I saw, almost
handsome, yes,
a bit ripped and
ragged,
scars, lumps,
odd turns,
but all in all,
not too bad,
almost handsome,
better at least than
some of those movie
star faces
like the cheeks of
a babys
butt.

And finally I discovered
real feelings for
others,
unhearleded,
like lately,
like this morning,
as I was leaving,
for the track,
I saw my wife in bed,
just the
shape of
her head there
(not forgetting
centuries of the living
and the dead and
the dying,
the pyarimids,
Mozart dead
but his music still
there in the
room, weeds growing,
the earth turning,
the toteboard waiting for
me)
I saw the shape of my
wife's head,
she so still,
I ached for her life,
just being there
under the
covers.

I kissed her in the,
forehead,
got down the stairway,
got outside,
got into my marvelous
car,
fixed the seatbelt,
backed out the
driveway.
Feeling warm to
the fingertips,
down to my
foot on the gas
pedal,
I entered the world
once
more,
drove down the
hill
past the houses
full and empty
of
people,
I saw the mailman,
honked,
he waved
back
at me.

you're sweet, but I am tired of proving this love

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 06:38:03 GMT

I am done with school until Sept. 23rd! 5 weeks of nothing! I'ma go kill myself of boredom.

I don't know what to do with my life. My mom moved a "stepfather" in (& other people). Frother asked me if I wanted to move out with him once we moved, I said yes. I don't want to be a burden financially (although he yields a greater income than my mother), yet I don't want to live uncomfortably with those people. I need a better job. I haven't talked to my mom in a month. I've had talks with my frother, sister, & dad, they all made me cry & told me that they loved me, so I don't feel so bad about life. I've gotten emo. I feel so...what's the word? Alone, forsaken, abandoned, ditched. Maybe I detach myself from things, too. No se.

Frother eagerly showed me his online blog, ha. I should have been like "oh yeah, well I've had a livejournal for like 5 years now!"

this is the time of your life but you just can't tell

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 07:41:41 GMT

I have school today & a paper due, which hasn't been written. Oh well. Finals start next week, 5 more days & the hell is over.

My daddy moved out on Friday, I officially come from a broken home. Supposedly, he has a heina & according to my bro & dad my mom has a sancho. Let's see what happens. I miss my daddy. I barely have time to see the people I want to see, & now I have to make time to go visit my own father :(

There has been a lot of talking about the issue of "love" & I've come to the conclusion that...love is irrelevant. Love is wanting someone who doesn't want you. Love is someone wanting you and you not wanting them. Love is stupid. Love is friendship on fire.

Elva, Luis, & I had breakfast at ihop, then we went to see "The Devil Wears Prada" cuz Elva wanted to. Then I came home. My family exploded firecrackers. We also went to the Coliseum to see them, b/c it's an awesome show. I also lighted my first firecracker ever, it was illegal too. Good day.

The other day Jon Jon & I went to see "Wassup Rockers" a movie about south central skater punkers, it was awesome & by the guy who did "Kids." Nice to see a movie about the hood.

family values

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 18:35:10 GMT

Frother & I woke up all early for the Deftones pre-sale. I got some really good seats; Orchestra 3, row U. He kept trying & mine were still better, so I bought them. He still kept trying & got PIT/GA, we were like "whaaaaat, no way..that's a once in a lifetime thing!" & he bought those, so now we have 4 tickets to family values. Someone buy mine, they're reallllly good seats! Hopefully my cousin buys them from us, errr or ebay...but I don't trust that. Sad to lose $146.80.

This is "The Summer of Concerts & Bars" minus the bars part for me.

We went to see:
-Sweet Tender Hooligans/Los Abandoned at hob-anaheim
-She Wants Revenge at the Wiltern

& coming:
-Sweet Tender Hooligans at the Morrissey Convention 6/25
-Ozzfest! 7/8
-Warped Tour 7/12
-Dustin (of Thrice) at Chain 8/1
-Family Values Tour 8/19
-D & I might go tonight to some backyard gig..ha

what I have in my heart I'll take to my grave

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 22:20:38 GMT

I am officially done with school until sept. I am so elated, 6 more quarters! To go to graduate school? Yay, for summer school on Monday. My mom actually comes back this Sunday, lol. Now I am bored, I should call someone but I rather sit here & watch TV. It's only 3pm & I've done so much:

-finished soc201 final/printed it out/drove to school to drop it off
-looked for my brother at the library, made copies of insurance paper
-went to elac to attempt to purchase parking permit
-went to tower records to purchase new afi & tool
-put gas
-drove by downtown library to drop off book, but there was a farmers thing going on
-post-office
-boba loca
-home/ate

On Saturday after work, Katybear & I were gonna go see "the break-up" but it was sold out. Instead we went to Borders & looked at naughty books, then she said we should go to the naughty store that's by work. It was the most raddest naughty store I've seen. It was funny, Emily would love it.

I bullshitted the papers for pols330 pretty badly. So hard/complicated. I just didn't have the passion/patience for it any longer, my brain went numb.

be something you love & understand

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 07:56:31 GMT

I have finals next week. I should be writing a 7pg paper on the 2001 Bush Commission to reform Social Security right now for pols330 :( I enrolled for summer school at ELAC (East Los Angeles College)... I've NEVER EVER gone to summer school before, I want to ease my load for the next 2 years so...

June 12th-July 14th Session 1 M-T
Adm. of Justice 2 10:45-1:10
Child Development 1 1:30-3:55
long break, I need to find ways to entertain myself
American Sign Language 6:35-9:55

& for Session 2 I am taking Bio 3 4:45-9:55 M-T I had to petition to take more units..

-I will have no life :( Yessy invited me to MX but I have school.
-My mom is leaving to El Salvador just for the weekend. I quote her; "you want to be free, well you won't be free until you're 25" lol..I REALLY want/need to move out with my favorite person in the whole wide world, D. 2 more years is my phrase of solace.
-My family dynamics are rapidly changing, oh well. House's are being gated up on the block, so we need to move soon.
-I had a lovely dinner at Islands with Elva, she let me try on her engagement ring, god I am such a girl.
-Bert, Diego, & I went to see The Da Vinci Code. Diego is funny.
-Bert, Diego, Elmer (my new cousin/brother from El Salvi who lives with us now), Kelvin, Dean, their cousin, Tati, & a girl went to six flags for Kelvin's b-day. Tatsu was as people put it "fucking scary." I liked it.
-My bro, Jess, Elmer, & I went to see MI:3 & Tommy's :(
-Katybear & her co-worker & I went to see X-men 3, johnny rockets, & shopping. Katy is leaving work on Sat :(
-Elsa & I met up with Leylan at Venice Beach on Memorial Day...I LOVE that place, let's go again! Funnel Cake! Then we went to CPK & shopping.
-I've watched too many movies, 5 people asked me to go see x-men 3 with them...lol awww.
-I got Em's postcard, I can't wait for her to come back!
-& everything else in life seems like a blur.
-I can't spell properly anymore, wtf is that about :(

I won't make promises, you taught me that

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 06:06:36 GMT

"Homeless. Entire family killed by ninjas, need money for karate lessons."

I would have given him $1 for being witty if gas prices weren't so damn high, $3.21.

We got divided into males & females & all of the boys said they expected "cooked meals, a clean house, & sex everyday." Gaby said "que cabrones!" lol. I like my soc201 class.

It's week 5 already. I have a midterm on Monday for soc383, he gave us the questions but no answers :( As I was studying for my pols371 midterm Gaby saw my political terms & made this ubber disgusted face & that reassured me that I am in fact following something I like, b/c I actually like memorizing those terms.

Elva got engaged with Lu last Wednesday, April 19, 2006. It's a wonderful thing to genuinely feel your friends happiness being transmitted to you. They're going to wed next April. He had the staff write his proposal on the plate with the cheesecake (cheesecake factory), aww!

& I am in fact a girl that's bien mimada by her family, & I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

"Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none."

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:54:21 GMT

I have a VERY busy week :( but it shall be fun, I hope

Good News
-Purchased Warped Tour tickets for the dodger stadium one
-Going to Ozzfest...seeing System, the almighty Hatebreed, Bleeding Through, Walls of Jericho, & Atreyu for my 6th time! & others
-Apparently made the Dean's list...if my gpa is in the top 5% then everyone else has really shitty gpa's, maybe it was a mistake, probably
-My little cousin Marisol helped me out on the "I Love Lucy" puzzle that's been on my floor for 2+ weeks, I missed her
-I am going to six flags on Thursday & on Friday I'll see some of my favorite people & Tuesday I might make a mission with Katy
-elac has the 4 ge classes I want to not take at csula...so summer school there..yay?

Best News
-My mom leaves tomorrow for 2 whole weeks

Eh to Meh News
-Have a 2pg summary on the federalist papers 10 & 51 (factions are evil!) due tomorrow for pols371 which I haven't started
-I scraped the car pretty bad, there went the paint job
-I have a cold..is it going to rain?
-My fave co-worker might be pregnant/had a miscarriage, I am hoping for the latter I know it's bad but a baby would fuck up her life...OR hopefully she has nothing & we learn a great lesson from this!
-My family made an offer for a house on central & century :( that's like way over there, my mom is reluctant to leave the hood. I like driving 5mins from someone's house & being home.
-I am craving something, & I think that's bad.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!"

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 08:33:59 GMT

I love that quote, it's almost as funny as Denice doing "ding, ding, ding...I quit!" from Chapelle Show, people from work are awesome.

School is ok.
Soc201 principles of sociology- easiest class ever. We did a what's a hug/hit & watch people hug exercise. No midterm/final, just weekly group work. Basically eat your breakfast/listen to your ipod/play gameboy/text message your friends class.
Soc383 violence in american society- what is violence? I have to pick a paper topic soon. We saw a clip of Nightline about Grand Theft Auto 3, how come no boys ever ask me to play video games with them? Interesting class.
Pols371 foundations of american politics- 2nd class I take with Bonetto, I loooove the stuff that comes from his mind. It's not mind-altering but it's very insightful. He has a dog named Hobbes (the great political philosopher!) who said the state of nature is "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." I WANT a cat, I'll name it Thoreau!
Pols330 politics of aging- let's talk about old people! Interesting facts, indeed. Both paper & final are 45% each, eh.

They are having a film viewing event from www.invisiblechildren.com at school, I shall go.
My mom is leaving to El Salvador on Monday! YAY! Gracias Dios! 2 weeks of utter, sheer bliss.

I saw Yessy today & talked to Emily on the phone b/c I don't like aim anymore, ha. I suck as a friend, don't I? It's weird how you can be so close with someone & then seem like strangers/different people. Pro's & con's of different situations revolve around my brain aimlessly.

I wish i could turn back time
wish i wouldn't have confide
confide all that i feel
but i felt my love was real
how could you think i was not your friend
when our friendship was pure
it could last till the end.
Yet you think i betrayed you
but i never would
how could i when i love you
i wish i could turn back time
back to the time when you were nice
back to the time when you called me a friend
and our friendship would never end.

try to figure me out

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 11:01:20 GMT

Life isn't bad, I have my health & my sanity. Through the recollection of my (now) poor memory, stuff that happened in March:

-D's b-day. Went to an 18+ club (The Grand) with her, mig, & her friends. Reggaeton Friday, eh not my scene.
-Got the drunkest I've ever gotten at my house (godsister's baby shower). Fun talking with my brother & his friend about gay stuff. I am very verbal while drunk: "I really have to go pee! I see the bathroom but I don't know if I can make it over there...whatever I'll wait. (sits back on bed, then stands up 5 mins later) I still have to pee! Nevermind, I'll go later (sits back down)." Oh my. Threw up & woke up at 5am to drink advil & water, then threw up again. Now I get a horrible distaste when I see/taste alcohol, I am not drinking until I (or my friends) start turning 21. 212 more days!
-Em & I went to Citadel. Byron took us to the farm (to be more socially aware! & stand by a bum fire), coffee bean on sunset, & some rooftop to see a spectacular view of downtown la. I loved that night, it felt so great, nothing like singing Britney Spears/Madonna in the car with amazing people.
-D (& her co-worker) & I went to Carlos' wedding (known him since 6th grade, he got the girl pregnant). I had to see that! It was boring, so we went to see "The Hills Have Eyes."
-Edd & Raul randomly showed up at my house on some Friday, I was looking/feeling like shit. They wanted to smoke something but didn't want to get high, ha. So I gave them the black & mild Luis gave me. Sharing a b&m with your friends, priceless. Went to see D at work. Then came back to my house where they taught me to play texas hold 'em. We played 21 (with gum) & I won all of the gum!
-I had to write/revise 34 pages (5 papers) within a 2 week period. I got sick/threw up due to my lack of sleep. Had finals, I got a B on my 20pg-er. Political Philosophy sucked ass though.
-Got the car painted during spring break, 3 days without a car=sadness.
-Hung out with Jon Jon & Wuilber. Went to maestro cafe, Jon Jon's house & saw "Kids" (movie about sex! see it), then W's house. His cousin came & we went bowling, & they forced me to play pool. W & I won the 2nd time, I suck at pool.
-Drove for 2.5 hours in rush hour traffic in the rain, only to miss the first day of my politics of aging class. Then wanted to go to Best Buy to purchase Atreyu's new album & ended up in El Sereno, I just wanted to cry. Why do I always get lost!
-Spring quarter started! Boo. Went to see a play! "Catholic Girls Guide to Losing Your Virginity," I fucking loved it, made me laugh & cry, it was so great! "I am fucking prime rib!" lol
-I love my brother. Went to la barca w/ him & his friend, I am funny. Saw V for Vendetta. Had liquor runs. Went to taste of chaos. I hate big arenas. As I lay dying & story of the year were eh-ish. I saw ATREYU for my 5th time! They're kinda changing, but Suicide Notes is a masterpiece & I will forever love them. Saw thrice & deftones both for 2nd times. It was a greaaaaat show, sexy music.
-Saw Wale-lale at the mall! We shopped at forever 21! How did that happen?
-My cousin (& family) are moving today from the back house. No more Leslie :( little kids make life fun (sometimes).

EPB: jenny
EPB: damn
EPB: fuck me up the ass without lube!
EPB: holy shit
JGV: what happened
EPB: i'm so frustrated
JGV: that was the best remark I have heard in the longest time
JGV: I shall quote you

if you are willing to accept the punishment, you can't be stopped

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 11:26:00 GMT

I've been VERY busy with this annotated bibliography shit (it's due Tuesday). Right now I have 76/100 sources. It's FUCKING horrible. It bores the hell out of me. I have a midterm on Monday. Before March 16th I have to write 32 pages/5 papers :( School takes up a lot of my time. There's too much stuff I have to do & want to do in life, yet time + my laziness is such a constraint.

Em came to LA. I saw her on Friday 1/27. It was SO nice to see her, I missed her. She picked me up & we went to the Santa Monica Pier. I had never really sat there & seen the sunset, it was nice. Em got into the water & everything. FUNNY PART: this freshly-crossed-the-border-individual asked me if I had a dollar in English so I said "que?" cuz I knew he talked Spanish. Then he had the tenacity to sit down & start talking to us. Asking us all types of weird questions, like if we had bf's or liked girls, & what type of music we listened to. It was FUNNY. I was so rude to him b/c he was annoying me & the way he was gawking at Em made me mad. Girls are not a piece of meat. I told him to go away. So he shook Em's hand & then they passionately made out! The end. lol Well he kissed her cheek (allegedly) & her face of surprise was PRICELESS she couldn't do anything b/c she was lying down. So he said sorry & resumed to try to kiss her again! lol Then he wanted to shake my hand & I yelled at him to not touch me & to go away. Then Em's cousin came back, he should have been protecting us!

Then we went to East Los. Then Em, her cousin, funny brother, & I ate at La Barca.

the truth

mig+leylan-jenny=the truth

this is a cool picture, it reminds me of how Virginia Woolf committed suicide...I rule for taking this picture

the background is sooo pretty

The world according to me.

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 05:50:56 GMT

I told Em, I would update:

Winter quarter started today! Got there in time to pick up the syllabus in yoga. Then I waited 1.5 hrs to purchase my parking permit, seemed like a concert line. POLS 374, then POLS 372 where some pol sci kids were talking bad things about my POLS 374 prof. Siler, how he's mad crazy with his 100 annotated bibliography & 100 citations 20 pg research paper. I don't even think I've ever done a footnote, man. I shall be engulfed in politics. I still need next Monday's POLS 205.

Life has been overwhelmingly great. My mom is in El Salvador & my dad works now. Yesterday was a super fun filled day. Luis, Elva, & I ate at CPK at south bay. Then I shopped. Although Elva ruined my week, b/c she got mad at me & said stuff that made me get mad too. Whatever if she wants to be my friend great & if not then I hope she has a great life. It's sad when you let go of friendships, at least to me it is. I feel things too strongly, & although I don't show it, the thoughts are consuming. Like she say's "yo no tengo que soportar a nadie, y nadie tiene porque soportar me a mi." I can't cope with people who are always picking fights, that's why I dislike my mother. She has called 2 times & not once have I told her I missed her. We are just a spec in time & people can't seem to just let little things go. I try to understand you, you should try to understand me, isn't that friendship? Luis was just like "people come & people go," what about real friendships that last a long time. Are friendships just made so that you can hang out with people while not having a real bond?

After we left her, Luis & I went to a shooting range! I was so excited. I love guns (just the symbol of it all). I paid no attention on how to use the 9mm. We couldn't load the bullets so I asked some guy there & I was the only one who loaded the bullets. But Luis would put the thing in the gun. It was fun! I put my hand in the wrong place & when the thing popped out, it scratched me. I got a scraped in my hand from a gun! Then we went to see Brokeback Mountain, yes the gay flick b/c Jake Gyllenhaal is too hot. Longest movie ever, not that great.

& my brother just gave me the deftones poster I've been wanting, so I am very happy.

cause tonight I feel like more

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 07:56:56 GMT

My life consists of school, work, being out, & sleeping. I've been very busy & I like that. Today is my daddy's b-day! Yesterday was my sister's b-day. I was too lazy to get up & buy her a cake (I don't like to wake up before noon) + I had to work :( But I bought her a really nice jewelry box. For thanksgiving she came over. My nephew is so cute, maybe b/c he's the only boy with 3 sister's. He sat on my lap & I didn't know what to do with myself b/c I am not used to such affection from him. Things are really good right now, nothing is bad.

-My family is awesome...my mom is leaving for El Salvador Dec 17- Jan 2..not sure where I'll be for x-mas
-School ends Dec. 8th...it feels like it's over now...just finals to go. Next quarter I am taking:
T/Th 9:50-10:40 Yoga, well I need a 1 unit class, so what's easier than this?
T/Th 11:40-1:20 POLS 374-- Foundations of Global Politics
T/Th 1:30-3:10 POLS 372--Foundations of Political Theory
M 6:10-10pm POLS 205--Intro to Political Science
I am done with GE's, until summer. I am just taking things as they come.
-I don't work until Sunday....work is fun sometimes...I baked cookies with Michelle & Denice & Myeshesia a while back..it was fun.
-Atreyu, Thrice, & Deftones are playing Taste of Chaos...I want to go bad
...those are all of the things going on in my head right now

5 years ago...

How old were you?
15

What grade were you in?
9th grade

Where did you go to school?
that one school

Where did you work?
nah

Where did you live?
53rd St.

Where did you hang out?
nowhere

How was your hair style?
long & plain

Did you wear braces?
no

Did you wear glasses?
no

Who was your best friend?
Em & D...& 5 years later I still love them more than anything

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
no one

Who was your celebrity crush?
Joel Madden, Ryan Phillipe

Who was your regular-person crush?
I am not sure

How many piercings did you have?
0

How many tattoos did you have?
0

What was your favorite band?
Good Charlotte & Linkin Park...funny stuff

What was your biggest fear?
failing stuff, my mom getting mad at me, etc.

Had you smoked a cigarette yet?
yes

Had you gotten drunk or high yet?
no & no

Had you driven yet?
no

Which of your pets were still alive?
Osito, Blacky, a bunch of cats

Present Day...

How old are you?
20

Where do you go to school?
csula

Where do you work?
the epitome of fakeness

Where do you live...right now?
58th St.

Where do you hang out now?
nowhere

How long is your hair now?
kinda long in layers

Who is your best friend?:
Em, D, & Mig the smurf

Who is your celebrity crush?
Ryan Phillipe is still hot, Jake Gyllenhaal too

Who is your regular-person crush?
asexual...it's the way to go

How many piercings do you have?
4..well 3

How many tattoos do you have?
0

What is your favorite band?
Atreyu

What is your biggest fear?
not allowing myself to do stuff

Have you smoked a cigarette yet?
yes

Have you gotten drunk or high yet?
yes & yes

Have you driven yet?
yes

Which of your pets are still alive?
my osito

What do you think about you now VS you 5 years ago?: I am still the same girl, well somewhat

queen mary, knott's, six flags

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 07:50:01 GMT

I've been very busy with school, work, & stuff. I have my 1st midterm today, in POLS155. I should study.
But I did all the halloween stuff I wanted to do:

Friday, 10/7- Thrice, The Bled, & Underoath were great
Saturday, 10/8- I FINALLY went to the Queen Mary, it was not that great. Frother & I went through all the 7 mazes super quick. I didn't scream at all.

Friday, 10/14- Knott's Scary Farm with frother, jess, her cousin, her friend, & her brother. They are like 4th generation mexican & make too many jokes about mexican's/white people/high school people. "Gosh we're like a bunch of mexicans let's go jump into our white toyota", "this is so high school." I don't like girls who treat their bf's like banks. I don't like girls who complain about being fat yet have to snack every 4hrs. Parking was taking too long, so I decided to get out of the car & walk to the entrance by myself. I couldn't take being in the car. I sold our extra ticket & met up with the other people in our party. Then the rest got there, my bro still had to get parking since it got so full. It was 10pm, so I went in with Bob who said "we should wait for my sister, I know she'll get scared" ugggghhh he's 14. We went to like 5 mazes then they wanted to leave early. ugggghhhh. It was scary though, a couple of times. I liked that maze that had the twilight zone theme/music to it.
Funniest moments: Trish screaming "a la puta!".... & the monster that stalked Bobby around the whole maze....

Went to sleep at 4am, then 4 hours later.....

Saturday, 10/15- Gilbert, Kelvin, their brothers Dean & Diego, Carmen, & I went to Six Flags Fright Fest b/c Gilbert turned 20. Saturday was Tony's b-day party too which I didn't go to, I feel bad but I got him a cool present. We got on a whole bunch of rides & I lost my earring. We only went to one maze b/c even though they are 4 boys they all suck. The one maze we went to was HILARIOUS. Everyone was holding on to somebody. Kelvin to Dean to Gilbert to me to Diego to Carmen. I was so calm, they were all huddled up in a group. Gilbert latched on to me & wouldn't let go of my purse, so I made him hold my arm. This one monster came & jumped in front of us, Gilbert pushed me into this makeshift wall, hence I colliding with a camouflage monster behind it. In order for my face not to hit him I pushed his face with my hand. Then Kelvin & Dean ran me over. & I just stayed behind laughing my ass off watching them all run away. Kelvin then remembered I existed & was like "jenny come here" & pushed me back to the little group circle. Then Gilbert is like "jenny, where is jenny!" lol oh man that one maze was worth it, it was SO FUNNY. I almost peed my pants. I had this preconceived notion that Kelvin was annoying/dumb b/c Em used to like him & would talk about him to me a lot. But he's not really; he told me the story why he hates halloween. They were all great people to hang out with. We were gonna go bowling afterwards, but parking took forever so we went to Carls Jr. & Gilbert got mad at something.

I think I am going to fright fest again this Saturday with my little cousins.

look how pretty she is when she falls down

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 08:10:47 GMT

I got the BEST voice message in the history of voice messages I've ever gotten in my life.

Wale called, & her voice message was her singing Atreyu's "Bleeding Mascara."
If I could somehow make that into a ringtone....hmmm I believe I can, if I record it to the fax thing then replay it & record it, yeah this could work out :)

Hands down, best message ever. She made my night.

I love Wale.
I love going to Sonic's with Wale even more.
Or maybe I just love Sonic's too.
Damn her & all of those commercial's on cable tv, I want some now. If only Anaheim wasn't such a kinda long drive.

I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 09:16:37 GMT

LJ entry b/c I just ate ice cream & don't want to do school stuff.

School is going great. Ratemyprofessors.com is awesome b/c I got good/easy classes. I only have 3 papers this quarter. My classes keep getting cancelled too. Work is not fun anymore, I asked for days off & they didn't want to give them to me without me giving them explanations, so I said change my availability! I am not going to lie. Blah to them, I hate when people think they are so high & mighty & forget they are humans just like the rest of us. I am a grown ass woman (at least I would like to believe so, ok not really but whatever) what I start or stop doing is my business. Giving explanations suck.

Yesterday, I hung out with Mig & Elsa whom I hadn't seen in the longest time. Em was greatly missed b/c she decides where we go & talks more. Anyways bowling in Gardena had a long wait so we just went to Starbucks then to usc, everytime I go there Mig makes me walk a lot, I just like sitting on benches near pretty fountains. We mostly asked Elsa Marine related type questions but I HAD to quote Mig; "What does the Marine Corps have to say about masturbation?" & "So nothing that's anal?" lol in the most serious voice. Mig & his sexual related questions are awesome. Em missed out, he kept asking them in a row & weirded out Elsa. Elsa didn't give him a hug good-bye & ignored him, lol that was funny too. I admire Elsa, I really do.

emiweeeee

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 07:30:19 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Emiweeee! I hope you have an awesome day, you deserve it. I love you so much, it sucks that you're so far away :( You & your friendship mean the world to me. I don't have what I have with you with anyone else, & I like that. I admire you so much, you have a lovely heart. Your honesty, cocky-ness, & personality...who could ever replace you? Nobody. Thank you for corrupting me, for listening to me, & for sometimes knowing me better than I know myself. You don't know how sad I get when I pass by Halldale & realize that your family doesn't live there anymore.

Elsa called asking about Em's b-day so we 3-wayed her & talked until midnight east coast time, 'til some gentlemen took Em away to dance for her. It was great, they're great girls. Although it sucks that Elsa has been having health problems, esp. since she's in the Marines with all of that physical activity but her unit is undeployable, yay. Her b-day is on the 4th, weeeee b-days!

look! I figured how to do an html heart just for you Em

♥

fall quarter

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 03:31:31 GMT

I like to write about first day's & my misadventures:

I spent $10 on this non-spill mug b/c driving & maneuvering a cup full of liquid is dangerous to my clothing. I put it in my backpack, & it ended up spilling everywhere. I had to leave my backpack in the car & take my lil dickie & folder in hand. Great 1st day.
POLS155 again b/c I got a D+ last quarter was booooring b/c I've heard it before. Flanery was actually funny.
SOC120 Intimate Relationships in a Diverse Society-- turns out to be a love, sex, & intimacy driven course. One of my assignments will be to stalk couples & write about their behavior aka pda in public. From the beginning of the relationship to the break up. We had a tiny classroom at Salazar filled with people & I as one of 15 people had to sit on the floor, not even at Manual did we have to sit on floors! & I was wearing a stone-colored skirt, very uncomfortable.
MUS152 Music in American Popular Culture--she's a funny lady. Talked about the beginning of music.
I have an hour of nothing. I like to play this game by myself entitled "Where did I park?" Fun stuff. I decided to take an alternative route to the bookmart & end up getting lost in Alhambra/Monterey Park, so drove back to school then bought book at bookmart.
GEOL158 Natural Disasters--My brother is in this class, he was late & the class was over when he got there. The professor thought I was stalking him cuz I was following him so my brother could check in, lol. Frother & I went to the bookstore, I don't want to buy that book.

ha
Jenny: hey brother want to play a game? it's fun
Frother: what game?
Jenny: it's called "where did I park?"
Frother: are you fucking serious? you can't remember? (by this time we had gone down the million steps & walked half the parking lot)
Jenny: well that's the thing I walk really slowly until I start remembering where I made a turn or something & find the car
...the parking lot is really big, I swear & I don't pay attention cuz I am always in a rush but it's a fun game, I am sure I am not the only one who play's it. Then I drove him to his car & came home in rush hour traffic :(

What a lame day, but at least I don't have to re-live it until 4 days from now!
I am looking forward to October & the last part of Sept. I think I should request every Saturday off.
-Thrice, the bled, underoath show
-Atreyu Monsters Bash on Halloween...my 4th...FOURTH time seeing them live. I am such a fan. I miss them.
-Knotts Scary Farm with my bro & Jessica, we went 3 years ago with his old gf too, funny.
-Fright fest, like every weekend b/c I can.
-Queen Mary, if I don't go, I'll kill myself. Actually there is nothing really stopping me from going, well work, whatever.
-Jessica's party.
-the la county fair...hopefully
-midterms, yay
-20!!!!!
I loooooove halloween.

I still hang on every word in a world of faded memories...

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 02:01:30 GMT

Calstatela has been added to the facebook. Mig & I were so close to protesting! If trade tech had one, why can't the little school on top of the hill have one too? I like that school, people say they just let anyone in, which is true. Other people say those people end up dropping out anyways, which is true, too. So far it's been good to me, the teachers are alright, none of that assistant teaching stuff--no extra discussion things. I've always gotten the times I wanted for classes, it's not that crowded, & the people are nice. There are a lot of people like me. The quarter system is awesome, too. I start school on Sept. 22. 3 more years, 9 more quarters, 31 more classes & I get a degree in political science with the option of public administration in return. You don't know how bad I want that degree, a college education has become pivotal to me. Sometimes I wish my mindframe during high school would have been different, & I would have tried harder. But, I see all of these people just lagging it when it comes to school & as long as I graduate by 2008 I'll be damn happy. It took me a while to get the account cuz I've never used the e-mail system didn't even know the url for it, but alas I got one. Now someone show me how to use it.

I've been lazy & my tummy aches a lot b/c I am a girl. I was supposed to go out, but I didn't answer my phone...I was napping. I still highly adore you all, although I might be reclusive/withdrawn at times. I just lose faith in people/the world/everything at times. If you're my friend you will understand.

P.S. Now I can join that "I Love Emily" group on the facebook!

Happy Birthday Mig!

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 07:26:52 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIGUEL JOSE MEJIA aka MIG!

From Bike to dropping pens to "did he tell you through a post-it" to getting lost at the most random places, how can I ever thank you for almost 9 years of a wonderful friendship? No words, man.

Em & Mig suck, I was wishing they would get on aim, but nada. I should wake their asses up. I really wanted to talk to both of you, but I still love you guys.

x-games, system of a down, & other stuff

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 09:03:37 GMT

I love being pale-white, I highly dislike the sun. I don't go out b/c of it sometimes. My face is red & hurts :(
I am a stalker, like hardcore.

Thursday-August 4th
-X-games with D at Staples--saw people skate & bmx, didn't get to see the bmx vert though, left early.
-System of a Down with frother at the LB Arena. I looooove my brother! I dislike going to shows with him though b/c he feels the need to protect me. Don't mess with me cuz my brother will fuck you up, cuh! I've been to SO MANY heavy shows & I got no scars, I can take care of myself. I feel I am taking away his fun. The Mars Volta seemed like one never-ending song, made me sleepy. System was awesome, awesome, awesome. I swear they sang like 20+ songs. Frother was standing in front of a pit, & I was just dancing & singing my booty off. I loved the acoustic Cigaro moment. Feeling the sweaty people, sticky floor, & musty air, lovely. In N' Out after.

Wednesday-August 3rd
D & I tried to purchase tickets for the X-games & spent some time at Edgar's house.
Em & I went to the mall (Old Navy opening) then to Tommy's.

Tuesday-August 2nd
I worked, then I dropped some chicken mcnuggets at D's house..I rule.

Monday-August 1st
D & I went shopping at Downtown LA (redd zone), Tilly's, & Del Amo.

Saturday-July 30th
Em, Mig, & I saw a late night movie, The Wedding Crashers

Saturday-July 23rd
Cheesecake Factory & Santa Monica Pier with Em & Mig. We rode the ferris wheel!

Friday-July 22nd
Yessy's b-day, went to her house, had Sachi's & bought her cheesecake.
Hung out with Frother & Jessica, watched THE DEVIL'S REJECTS, after 2 years of waiting for it!

I did other stuff too...I love the fact I've spent so much time with Em & D, without them I would be insane.

when you're ripe you'll bleed out of control

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 11:51:23 GMT

Atreyu lyrics can perfectly define my entire existence:

"I am exhumed just a little less human, and a lot more bitter and cold."

They are right, you do live, love, burn, & die.

The truth is you'll never get what you really want

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 07:08:21 GMT

July 15--Edgar turned 19. D & I decided to do something for him. I had to take/pick up my mom from work so that confused things. We bought him a cake/balloons & went to Freddy's house, Edgar had a carne asada at his house then they came over. We had cake/hung out. D & I didn't know who to invite so we said fuck it & just let it be us. Ricardo called & then he & Mig came over. Then Freddy, Edgar, D, Stephanie, Mig, & I went to Speedzone in City of Industry, did the Slick Track, played some video games, the boys then went to see a movie. D & I had to leave so we stopped at Paramount & hung out on some street doing random funny things.

July 16--Leylan, Mig, Elva, & I went to Jon Jon's party. It was kinda boring, there was alcohol. I didn't meet my goals of getting Mig & Leylan drunk & seeing them dance :( At least I got to hang out with them. Before the party Leylan, Mig, & I had starbucks, came to my house & saw Donnie Darko, although I had to speed through it. I dislike the way my mother overprotect's me b/c I am a hispanic girl, she said it was different for Fredy b/c he was a boy, that hurt me..only b/c I don't have a dick doesn't make things any different. The more honest I am the more shit I get. Fredy said "just let it be" & gave me a cookie to make me happy :)

EMILY CALL ME! please if you can, I understand if you don't want to. I MISSSSSSS YOU! & I got your postcard!

P.S. Trying to get Leylan & Mig to start dating, fall in love, get married, & ultimately name one their daughters Jenny is a harder task than I had anticipated...hmmm..cooperate people!